Lying to your Kids

The other day Owen asked me if Santa was really real.

He's 4 (or 4 and 3/4, as he will correct me). I hadn't expected that question quite so soon.

He followed up that question by stating that the Tooth Fairy can't be real. He hasn't even lost a tooth yet!!

So how would you respond?

I was evasive. I didn't say that Santa or the Tooth Fairy were real, but I didn't say they weren't. I told Owen that as long as he believed in them, they would come.

Was this wrong? Should I just tell him the truth. He seems so young to stop believing in these things. I wasn't that smart as a kid, I guess.

It turns out that we parents lie to our children quite a lot. Usually to gain compliance (if you don't clean your room the police will come and put you in jail). I just read an article that highlights this research. Since this is the first research of its kind, it doesn't get into a lot of depth. But they do raise the question of the long term impact of lying to our kids.

On the one hand, we are trying to teach our children to be truthful, and yet we are lying to them.

I think the key take-away is that we need to be more thoughtful about when we lie to our children. They point out that these little white lies are usually spur-of-the-moment. We need to know where we stand on lying - when it is OK and when it is not.

I am personally not a fan of lying to gain compliance. But I've probably done it. On the other hand, I'm fine with lying about how beautiful a scribble is.

Santa? I'm not so sure...