Boys and Guns (and Swords and Lightsabers...)

Since Owen informed me that I was falling down on my playdate duties, I have tried to arrange playdates for Owen every week. I can understand that he is missing some of his daycare friends and it also gives me some extra Alex time at the end of the day.

Last week I brought home one of Owen's buddies from pre-school and his mother picked him up at our place before dinner. It was lots of fun for Owen and I didn't have to intervene or get involved once.

Owen is obsessed with Star Wars right now and is constantly making lightsabers. That morning he made one for his friend to play with as well. They spent much of their playdate chasing each other around with their lightsabers.

When the boy's mom came to pick him up and he told her what they had been playing, she gave me a strange look and said "we don't allow that kind of play". And I suspect there will be no more playdates with him.

That made me think about our approach to guns and swords and lightsabers.

For the longest time we tried to prevent Owen from playing with toy weapons of any sort. We didn't have any actual toy guns and I even avoided squirt toys that look like guns. But Owen made guns and swords all the time - even with his toast. The more we tried to stop it the more he did it.

So I gave up. Last year he was a Ninja fighter for Halloween and the costume came with a sword and I let him keep it. This year he will be a Clone Trooper and it came with a laser gun and he is playing with that.

Am I a bad parent?

I just came across a posting on The Father Life that resonated with me. He references a researcher who says it is normal for boys to be obsessed with guns.

When you think about it, playing with guns is simply imaginative play - and that is a good thing. Isn't it?